Some Thoughts on Media

My daughter is too young to receive a great deal of media exposure other than what my husband and I present to her in the home.  But as I go out into the world with her I see that media seeps into our lives in ways that I as a parent cannot control.  I believe media is a powerful and useful tool, but I also see its destructive abilities.  As I seek to raise my daughter to live in the world, but not of the world this has led to a great deal of consideration on my part of what I feel is and is not appropriate in media.  This has also led me to the ponder how I as a parent teach my child to make righteous choices in the media around her.

Through my considering I feel the first step in teaching my daughter the appropriate use of media is in helping her realize what her eternal desires and goals are.  Our Father in Heaven has given us the opportunity for exaltation, the chance to be like Him.  It is my responsibility to help my daughter understand this and teach her to live her life so that she may achieve it.  If she has an earnest desire to stand pure in the presence of God then my job as a parent will have just become that much easier because she will understand and want to keep herself in situations that allow her to feel the Spirit and that keep her pure in thought and deed. 

Giving my daughter a foundation in the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ then also allows me to give her guidance in the world of media.  The reality of the matter is to be fully protected in choosing media my daughter will need to be a worthy and close companion of the Spirit, also known as the Holy Ghost.  It is through the Holy Ghost that we are able to receive witnesses of truth.  At eight years old my daughter will have the opportunity open up to her to be baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and thus be eligible to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  This will allow her to always have the Holy Ghost with her to guide her so long as she is worthy.  What a great protection for my daughter in the world of media!  For the Strength of Youth says, “Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting.”  With Satan able to use the media as a tool to confuse, I have to teach my daughter to keep the Spirit with her to help her discern what is truly right and wrong.

The Holy Ghost is able to teach us, but we also have to do our part to seek learning and knowledge.  So what can I do as a parent to teach my daughter how to seek out righteous media?  I can begin by being actively involved now in teaching what media is appropriate to participate in.  I play a major role especially in my daughter’s earlier years where I am the one really introducing things to her.  She trusts me in what media I introduce into our home.  She sees my actions and uses them as guidelines for her own.  That makes what I do as a parent a huge responsibility.

Realizing the responsibility I have to lead my daughter in righteous living, specifically in the choice of media, I think frequently upon a quote from Elder Quentin L. Cook.  He says. “Parents must have the courage to filter or monitor Internet access, television, movies, and music.  Parents must have the courage to say no, defend truth, and bear powerful testimony.  Your children need to know that you have faith in the Savior, love your Heavenly Father, and sustain the leaders of the Church.”  As I fulfill the direction given in this quote I feel successful in the guidance I give and the choices I make in media not only for my daughter but also for myself. 

Preparing to make and keep sacred covenants

My husband and I decided before our baby was born that we would ALWAYS dress her modestly, even as an infant. The scriptures teach our bodies are temples. Our goal in doing this with our daughter is to ensure that she holds a respect for herself and the sacredness of the body she has been blessed with. We want her to value virtue not vanity, in doing such we plan to prepare her NOW for the covenants she will be making at baptism and in the temple. We recognize we have more to do in preparing our daughter to live a covenant path than this motto of modesty, but we also see that we cannot wait to teach her her intrinsic value in the sight of God. 

There has been a call for women to stand as "guardians of virtue," and as Sister Elaine S. Dalton has said "Virtue is a requirement to have the companionship and guidance of the Holy Ghost. You will need that guidance in order to successfully navigate the world in which you live. Being virtuous is a requirement to enter the temple. And it is a requirement to be worthy to stand in the Savior’s presence." Sister Dalton also said "For the mothers... you are your daughters’ most important example of modesty and virtue--thank you. Never hesitate to teach them that they are royal daughters of God and that their value is not based on their sensual appeal. And let them see your belief modeled correctly and consistently in your own personal attitude and appearance." Dressing modestly is only a small part of the picture of eternal progression, but if we fail to teach it to our daughter what else are we failing to teach in the process? That our daughter has more value than a sensual world would have her believe? That any man who really loves her will love her for who she is, not her sexual appeal? That the loss of chastity carries beyond this life and can affect generations?

Putting my daughter in immodest clothing now, even though she is unaccountable, does not make me unaccountable. "And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. (D&C 68:25)" I see this duty to extend as well to preparing my daughter to enter God's holy temple. NOW is the time to prepare her, not when she's 8 or 18, by then we will have been too late!

Our choices today with our daughter affect the choices she makes tomorrow with her children. I am blessed to have a mother and father who taught me the value of virtue, and they were blessed with parents who taught them. Being virtuous and modest is not only a tradition in our family it is a sacred privilege and duty that we respect. Have there been mistakes? Yes. Could I have done better in my personal goal of virtue and modesty growing up? Absolutely. But if allow past mistakes to stop me from teaching my daughter the value of virtue then I am failing as a parent. 

In the recent General Conference President Eyring said, "When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with God, you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope to those who might follow your example." I can't raise my daughter to follow the crowd, my daughter has been sent to the earth at this time because the Lord needs her here to be a force for good in a world of moral relevance. It is my duty and my husband's duty to prepare our daughter to make covenants, and to teach her to be firmly rooted in the gospel. We see that consciously teaching our daughter to respect herself and love God now through modest dress is a small but important part of our daughter's eternal happiness.

The Shaping of Today Makes the Woman of Tomorrow

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -C.S. Lewis

Like the great canyons of the earth that are shaped by exposure to weather and water, i feel children are shaped by what they are exposed to. As parents we act as protectors to our children. We monitor who and what they are around, and thus we have a great influence upon what kind of person they can become. I recognize and appreciate that our Heavenly Father blessed His children with the gift of agency, the opportunity to choose what we will and will not do, but I also see that I must teach my daughter to recognize right from wrong. In the future I will have a great deal less control over what my child is around, and therefore, I must use every minute I can now helping her know truth so she can keep herself happy and safe. President Spencer W. Kimball said "The secret of the good life is in protection and prevention. Those who yield to evil are usually those who have placed themselves in a vulnerable position." As I look back upon my own life I find this to be very true; the majority of my most miserable memories are situations that I put myself into. This is why I am so intent upon teaching my daughter that she has the power "to act for [herself] and not to be acted upon" (2 Nephi 2:26). 

Right now I see the greatest tools I have to accomplish this are scripture study and prayer. Daily we read scriptures and pray as a family and individually. That includes my daughter. She has personal prayer and scripture time each day. While she cannot read or talk yet I help her. I recognize that I cannot always be with her, but she will always have the power of prayer and her knowledge from the scriptures. Bishop Dean M. Davies taught, "Searching, pondering, and applying the words of Christ as taught in the scriptures will bring wisdom and knowledge beyond our mortal understanding. This will strengthen our commitment and provide the spiritual reserves to do our best in all situations." I want my daughter to always make the best choices she can and so I am choosing now to help her learn to use tools she will need to be a woman of virtue, a woman that she can be proud of. 

I know that it may seem odd to be so seriously concerned about my daughter's spiritual grounding now, but I figure now is the best time to begin. She is still so close to her Heavenly Father, still so innocent and receptive to goodness, I do not want to wait for that to wane to start. Instead I plan to teach her to keep that sweetness and trust in God, and help her learn about the world with a Christlike mentality. I realize that I cannot keep the sadness in the world from her forever, but I can teach her how to react to it. Therefore, I do not have time to be passive about teaching my daughter to love God and choose righteousness. The reactions and perceptions my daughter makes in her youth will influence her entire life.

Margaret D. Nadauld said "The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.” I want true happiness for my daughter, happiness that will last forever, not for a fleeting moment. I know that happiness comes through our Heavenly Father and living the way he would have us live. So I will continue making the time each day to help my daughter grow in study and prayer, that she may always recognize and remember that she is a daughter of God, a woman of value, a woman with the power to act.

The Blog 

The calling to be a mother is a hard job, but I would never trade it. These past few months since my daughter's birth have been some of the hardest in my life because it has required me to face my weaknesses and seek change. My Heavenly Father blessed my husband and I with a sweet girl, one of His special daughters, and I must be willing to step up to this responsibility.

Abraham Lincoln said "Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm." My husband and I decided before our daughter was born that we would work to give our child a firm moral foundation to stand on so she would have the tools necessary to make wise, righteous decisions. My purpose in starting this blog is to share our growth, successes, and truth through positive parenting that we learn from. I see that the child I lay down each day in the crib is no mere babe, but a giant with infinite potential. I will count this blog a success if I can help other parents think similarly of their children and help spread a realization of the power of influence we have as parents.